Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Low-Sex Marriage is Only a Problem if it Is.

CNN has an article on the reliably titillating subject of the "sexless marriage," which their experts describe as having intercourse less than ten times a year. One of their experts, Marty Klein, a licensed marriage counselor and certified sex therapist in Palo Alto, California, says that one cause of the problem of sexless marriages is "America's obsession with marriage."

I think this is exactly backwards. I think one cause of the problem of unhappy marriages is America's obsession with sex. Sure, sex is a fun, and is one of the many channels through which married people build up their ties with one another. Human beings are built for strong sexual desire at times, especially men. And you can't beat sex as a way to make babies.

Still, there are many more important things in life than sex. Sex is a normal good of marriage, but its good is not best measured in quantity. The more educated people are, the less often they have sex. This doesn't mean there is something wrong with them. It more likely means that they have other good things to do.

If a couple doesn't have sex much, that could be a symptom of a problem in their marriage. But a low-sex marriage is not a problem in itself.


Anonymous said...

The problem is not with American's obsession with sex it is with marriage. Sex is a way for two people to bond and to love each other. Without this bond, people who are married to someone who does not want sex goes elswhere to get it and ruin their sham of a "marriage" by doing it.

People need to get real and realize that marriage is just brainwashing by religions, culture, govt. etc.

Sex is a need - marriage is not!

Tausign said...

CNN's conclusion and your 1st Anon commenter display upside down thinking. What I see in the media, especially those frequent 'ED' adds, are a wholesale compulsion with sexual activity, especially in the latter years of life. Many people by nature and choice or even physical constraints, settle down to life of semi-continance and are completely fulfilled and content.

José Solano said...

I think you hit this one right on Gruntled!

Excellent observation.

Marty said...

Yep, your first commenter reminds me of my son, who wants dessert but no dinner, and when he finally gets dessert, wants all sprinkles and no ice cream.

Or as we adults might say, all sizzle and no steak.

Jerome said...

low libido becomes a problem if it will not be given enough time to cure. we should give our time in curing this mess to be active again.