tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16201378.post112760670804791356..comments2023-12-28T18:17:11.191-05:00Comments on Gruntled Center: Why Mainline Church Leaders are Ambivalent About Promoting Marriage, Part IGruntledhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14377809238377382438noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16201378.post-1127784904403752162005-09-26T21:35:00.000-04:002005-09-26T21:35:00.000-04:00There is a theory that people who are anxious abou...There is a theory that people who are anxious about divorce give themselves big weddings to try to make their investment in the marriage to big to give up. Probably futile, if true.Gruntledhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14377809238377382438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16201378.post-1127784549267010212005-09-26T21:29:00.000-04:002005-09-26T21:29:00.000-04:00I totally agree with what ancho and lefty said abo...I totally agree with what ancho and lefty said about bridal magazines. Some people seem to spend more time worrying about what the marriage ceremony will look like than what the marriage will be like. As the old saying goes you got to keep the main thing the main thing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16201378.post-1127705997729549922005-09-25T23:39:00.000-04:002005-09-25T23:39:00.000-04:00To ancho and lefty (more lefty, I think), I agree ...To ancho and lefty (more lefty, I think), I agree entirely that mainline churches dread addressing men's and women's roles. Ambivalence about everything is one of the maddening aspects of mainline churches. However, even in quite definite churches, with strong and clear statements about differences between men and women, I don't think you will find women promising to obey in their wedding vows very often these days.<BR/><BR/>Should we infer something happy from the fact that you have been perusing bridal magazines, no matter how icky the magazines are?Gruntledhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14377809238377382438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16201378.post-1127705600614008402005-09-25T23:33:00.000-04:002005-09-25T23:33:00.000-04:00To dee, I think it is not so much that mainline Ch...To dee, I think it is not so much that mainline Christians put less value on their wedding vows. Rather, I think they value tolerance more than just about any other commitment. They don't want to criticize non-marriages, even though most members of mainline churches do marry for life.<BR/><BR/>George Barna has some fascinating research on why born-again Christians have a higher divorce rate than average. But that is the subject for another blog.Gruntledhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14377809238377382438noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16201378.post-1127697524588378212005-09-25T21:18:00.000-04:002005-09-25T21:18:00.000-04:00One more thing- if you really want a scary look in...One more thing- if you really want a scary look into the state of marriage in popular culture in 21st century USA, you should go to Joseph-Beth and purchase one of those terrible 450 page bridal magazines. You could use it for a class project when you teach Marriage and Family. You could ask your students to discuss what they learn about marriage from such publications: <BR/><BR/>For example:<BR/><BR/>It is really o.k. to spend more on your wedding than on a year of university.<BR/><BR/>On your wedding day, what is important is not how you feel, but rather how you look.<BR/><BR/>It would be inappropriate to have fewer than 5 bridesmaids.<BR/><BR/>Wedding cakes should cost more than a mortgage payment.<BR/><BR/>Your dress really should set your parents back a few month's salary, you know, just to show that they love you. <BR/><BR/>It is a good idea to insist on a diamond engagement ring, since there are no ethical dilemmas in the global diamond trade... The size of the diamond engagement ring equals the size of his affection for you! <BR/><BR/><BR/>Aaahhh the rainy season in Central America---so much time to think about things unrelated to my dissertation research!ancho and leftyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01011866357707105493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16201378.post-1127696732695275882005-09-25T21:05:00.000-04:002005-09-25T21:05:00.000-04:00In addition to avoiding the questions of homosexua...In addition to avoiding the questions of homosexual marriage and single parenthood, I think mainline churches avoid the promotion of marriage because they don't want to tackle questions about men's roles and women's roles in the context of matrimony- something that many non-mainline churches tackle head-on. (Not that I much like their answers.) For example, in taking my wedding vows I do not intend to tell my future husband that I will OBEY him. Yet the obedient wife seems to be the Biblical paradigm. Just a thought.ancho and leftyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01011866357707105493noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16201378.post-1127694181754093342005-09-25T20:23:00.000-04:002005-09-25T20:23:00.000-04:00Speaking as someone who describes himself as evang...Speaking as someone who describes himself as evangelical and right of center on most issues, I would say that its a question of value. This is only a guess, but I think that those of use who are conservative and centrist place a higher value on our marriage vows and the commitment that goes with it. I am not sure that this is a complete answer to your question since the Bible belt has a high divorce rate. However I would say that in the South if you are in love you have more pressure on you to get married which might another slightly distorted way of showing how marriage is valued in a culture.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com